Less than a week until graduation.  Matt is getting a commendation for most improved PT score and most squared away soldier.  His versatility is amazing to me.  He can be the artsy, creative musician with a mohawk, tattoos and piercings as well as the disciplined, driven firefighter and now soldier.  He was my most sensitive child.  When he had to be in daycare for several months after I went back to work, he was so stressed out by another little boy in the class who screamed for his mother every morning after she dropped him off.  It would never have entered my mind that he would be interested in firefighting like his father.  I didn't know he could handle an emergency situation in a calm, cool and collected way.  I think it's just that when there is something he wants, he learns what he needs to learn.  He'll do whatever it takes.  That's how he taught himself to play guitar, too.  Now if I could get him to write a song for his mother....


I have really been struggling with faith and fear in this situation.  They cannot live in the same heart and mind and I have felt fear really taking over lately.  I am a very organized, type A person who likes to know all possible scenarios so Ican be prepared for everything.  Of course, that's really unrealistic and is the sort of thing that will drive me absolutely crazy.  Today, I had the good fortune of being with a Mary Kay National Sales Director for a few hours of training and motivation.  She really spoke to my need to find peace with Matt's decision.  Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  As much as I want to be prepared for anything, I have to stop dwelling on bad possibilties and concentrate on being the good and supportive mom he needs.  She said we are not supposed to live in turmoil.  We should be living in peace and harmony, giving to others.  Just having that inner peace even when everything around us in in chaos.  Normally, I'm right there in chaos, too!