I pinned his Airborne wings today.  So proud of him.  I know he feels great to have accomplished this.  It's all so bittersweet.  Onto the next step...RASP...Ranger Assessment Selection Program.  We watched them pick him up for pre-RASP.  They didn't get on the bus fast enough and had to all get off and do pushups.  Some of them with their packs still on their backs.  I felt so bad for them!

It's hard to look at these kids and think that in four months some of them will be Army Rangers.  They look so young.  I'm sure some have lived a lifetime in their short, 20-something years, but to look at them they're all just beginning.  They are all just beginning and what they want to do is serve their country.  So noble.  It just amazes me.

Matt completed his first jump today.  He started the day with a 1:53 a.m. text to me saying he'd call me as soon as he had his phone and "I love you."  I was calmly worrried all day.  He finally called about 4:00 p.m. and said they were done.  He said he was freaking out on the plane (silently, to himself) and was the last to jump.  Because of that he was at the end of the drop zone and heading for the trees.  That freaked him out, too.  He was able to guide himself away and had a good landing.  He's ready to do it again tomorrow.  My 30/30 prayer commitment is easy with a son like Matt.  30 minutes of prayer a day for 30 days.  I know I'm praying way more than that!

Although he hasn't loved every minute of this experience, he keeps reiterating that he's doing this because he wants to serve his country and for what he loves and misses back home.  I think in a text to Chris he said he was tired of being lazy while other people were defending his freedom.

It's so strange to be with him when he's in uniform and watch people thank him for his service.  That makes me cry.  Everytime I have to call USAA about his car insurance they say, "Please thank your son for his service."  Cry, cry, cry.  I just can't help it.  When we were at Mass the weekend of his basic graduation a lady sitting in front of us stopped to thank Matt.  Chris and Matt were both looking at me like I was crazy because I was crying.  "Are you crying?"  I said, " Sometimes I cry at Mass." 

Matt begins Airborne School tomorrow.  Today he's a little bored, a little lonely.  Breaks a mother's heart.  Even as they move into adulthood, you still want to heal all their hurts and fix everything for them.  It's hard to hold back.  They have to experience the difficult situations of life just like we did.  It's like the butterfly emerging from it's cocoon.  Without the struggle it can't fly.  The struggle of getting out of that cocoon strengthens it's wings.  It's really hard for mom to stand by and watch and not try to help. 


So I just let a few of his friends at home know he's feeling down and asked them to give him a call sometime today but not to tell him I asked them.  Hopefully, that will cheer him up and get him through the rest of today.  Once he starts tomorrow I think he'll be okay.  He hasn't had many days to himself over the last four months and being stuck somewhere with no friends and nothing to do is a little overwhelming.